you win some, you bruise some

just got back from the Rat City Rollergirls, which was sooooo much fun! I had first heard about roller derby maybe about a year ago, and while I still didn't really know what it was, it sounded ridonkulous, which meant it was right up my alley. After having been to a bout, I kind of get the rules, but not well enough to explain it, so if you're curious, I'd suggest just reading this. Otherwise, in a nutshell, it's a bunch of kickass women kicking ass on roller skates, hoo rah!

tonight's bout had 4 teams competing:

1. Derby Liberation Front (DLF): rebellion army themed team and defending champions
2. Grave Danger: the undertakers
3. Socket Wenches: auto shop themed team and competing in the championship match
4. Throttle Rockets: galactic

the first half had the Socket Wenches vs. Throttle Rockets. This match determined who would compete in the championship match against DLF, which was the Socket Wenches (boo!), and the second half had DLF against Grave Danger. This match was REALLY good and so close! There were a lot of good competitors, especially Carmen GotSome, who in the very last match, gained her team 15 points, which was only 1 point shy of tying the game! Oh, it was beautiful! DLF won, but just barely.

watching these women really made me want to kick some ass too, haha! It made me want to go to the gym and work out. I actually found out that there's a volunteer group where people can practice & learn about roller derby, so I'm considering checking it out just to try & say I've done it, hee. I think it could be fun to participate in a roller derby match at some point in my life. Hell, there were women there that looked like titas! I would've guessed the skaters' ages ranged from their 20s to their 40s.

and on top of kicking ass on roller skates, I could have an awesome name! Some of the names I liked from tonight's match were Foxy Throwdown, Meg MyDay, Carmen GetSome, Bruise Lee, Georgia O'Grief, Scarlet Leather, Shovey Chase, and Jowanna Ass Kickin', haha. The whole time, Christine and I just kept trying to think of what our roller derby names would be (it was much like thinking about our stripper names & drag queen names, haha). I came up with Blondie Slam for Christine. I thought of a few for myself, but none that I'm really satisfied with... so far, I've got Thunder Thighs, Killetto, and The Killa from Manilla.

happy easter!

I can't seem to find those Cadbury mini-eggs with the hardshell that come in that purple packaging :(. I don't remember what they're called, but Viv & I used to munch on them in freshmen year all the time (thus furthering the unfortunate process otherwise known as "The Freshmen 15"...). Poo

on a different & totally unrelated note, I just found out that one of my friends likes me. This stands out to me in particular because I'm kind of attracted to him too... We have the same sense of humor, he's really chill, but maybe a little too comfortable around me at times (if you know what I mean), and physically, he meets the profile that I like: tall & beefy, with some lovin' for huggin'. I'd always thought he was cool, but I just never humoured the idea of us before because we were (I still am) dating other people, and the qualities in him that I'm attracted to are what I like in guys as friends, but not as a boyfriend. This would explain why he kept in touch with me when I left for Taiwan, which was surprising because we were cool, but I hadn't realized we were that cool.

plus, he moved up to Bellingham, so to be honest, I figured I wouldn't be seeing much of him really. In fact, I saw him for the first time since summer a few weeks ago. We chatted and caught up, it was good times. But then, a very drunk mutual friend of ours told me, "I think he lurvs you" ::wink::, and while I'm not prone to believing the drunk, it did make me suspicious and thus distance myself from him the rest of the night. Now I have actual, legit, sober confirmation and it's making me wonder... But then I feel bad because I shouldn't even be thinking or humouring this idea; I'm with Chris. Bah! Sometimes I miss the simplicity & freedom of single life :p. It may sound selfish, but at least I had no one to take care of but myself, my family, and my friends.

can't lose what i use

I had my first meeting with my advisor in the Speech & Hearing Sciences department and man alive am I tired! I knew the next 5 quarters would be busy, but I guess I hadn't realize just how much work I've got ahead of me -_-''. She gave me all of these info packets that were really helpful, but I fear to pull them out of my bag again... Not only do I have a lot of work cut out for me for the program itself, I've got to start studying for my GREs, take them no later than December, write another personal statement, gather all my documents and resumes, contact a professor & aid him/her on their research, attend clinics & complete observation hours, and apply for grad schools. Oh, and I should have most of this all done by autumn. I know that's still 4 months away, but still. That's just 4 months away! And with my classes, summer is gonna go by real fast... I know I'm just feeling a little bit overwhelmed and that it was a lot of information to get on the first day, but damn Gina, I just need to exhale :o/

still, it could be worse. I could be Lindsay Lohan and be broke off my ass.

bitchalisms: look it up

"I like 'em when you're cute in the face & you're thick in the waist"

word Jamie! mmhmm

le sigh

I just got an email from Clay telling me that he's gotten involved with someone in Japan. I don't know what to make of this. I feel like I should be happy, but while I'm not devastated, hearing this kind of sucks. To be honest, I can't say I really feel too much toward him beyond care in a platonic sense. I mean, yeah, he still means a lot to me, but I don't necessarily want to be with him. I haven't even thought about him much lately. Nonetheless, I must admit that I was rather affected by this news.

it got me to thinking about our history together, especially what transpired when we last saw each other. I do feel a little bad because I think I was slowly distancing myself from him. I started resenting him after our trip to Portland this winter and everything he told me... But anywho, hearing this news was not exactly exciting for me. I know it's only fair and that we both discussed the inevitable and that I should be happy for him. I am as long as she's good to and for him, but beyond that, I really don't care to know anything else. I don't care to know how they met, who she is, what he sees in her, etc. Yet I can't help but wonder how I compare to her or if he still feels the same way about me. Hell, I was amazed to find myself wishing not to know at all.

to add on to things, coincidently the past few days, I've been seriously thinking about my relationship with Chris and where I stand on that. I've been doing a lot of back-&-forth decision making as to what I should do. As a result, I've kind of distanced myself from him. I think he's noticed since he's mentioned something, but I don't really know what to do or what to say to him because whatever I'm feeling, only I can fix. He's not necessarily doing or not doing anything to make things worse or better; I'm just questioning my own feelings. So it's a lot for me to take in when I'm having my own doubts with my current relationship and amidst that, I get word from a past romance about his new relationship. All of this and how I'm feeling about everything right now makes me feel selfish and unfair, ugh! What is it about past romances that keep us forever connected even if the spark is completely gone? And what makes it so hard to ever completely sever that bond? le sigh