it's too big. it's too wide. it's too strong. it won't fit

2 things I like about Houston: the food & the hip hop scene

1. I can't begin to get into everything I've eaten! It's not that the food is delicious in a "I'm in a foreign country and their food is AMAZING!" type of way. No no no, it's that there's so fucking much of it! And you can get anything at all hours of the day. Plus, being that I partly grew up down here, my taste buds are still privy to (Tex) Mexican, Soul Food, Creole/Cajun, kolaches, and Houston definitely has their fill of it all, mmm.
2. Houstonians show their love for their homegirl Beyonce. Now now, I know she's not the best example of good hip hop (ok, bad start Carmel), but I've discovered some really good songs on her latest album that don't get played at all up in Seattle. Aside from that, the hip hop is still wonderful. They play the good stuff and they play the G stuff. Like PR, bad hip hop/rap is good hip hop/rap, hahah. I mean, who can't appreciate lyrics like

   she fine den a bitch, ass and her tits

   thick in tha hips erry nigga want her

   call her Halle Berry (Halle Berry) Halle Berry (Halle Berry)

   she walkin like a model

   hands on yo knees

   scrub the ground

   she ain't nuttin but a tease

   Halle Berry (Halle Berry) Halle Berry (Halle Berry)

   
   

where in the world is barmel baga-anan?

my sister just introduced me to this site, which is a bunch of funny ass text messages that perhaps should've never been sent (i.e., drunk texts, incriminating texts), haha! Now you know we've all been there. Here are some of my favorites, to name a few:

(317): why did u let me go home with him last night?
(260): u were determined it was a good idea

(318): i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy

(508): hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
(214): ok, stay where you are, be there soon

(214): dude, I'm so drunk.
(972): pete, this is bryce's mom
(214): I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
(972): pete, this is still bryce's mom

there's a lot more on the site. Still, none of them will ever beat this one:

Robert: where are you?
Tracy: hetn barb un want to duch you

ahahahha! CLASSIC